It’s pretty typical to have someone ask you what you’re binge-watching, but you never hear people ask about savor-watching. I am a savor-watcher. I think in part it might stem from my love of a ritual. I used to love looking forward to Mad Men on Sunday nights – and for y’all who are my age-ish, who can forget Must-See Thursdays on NBC? I still remember counting down ‘til Saturday night and the Love Boat as a kid (I realllllly wanted to be Julie McCoy when I grew up).
Watching a bunch of episodes in a row of a show doesn’t really appeal to me. In fact, these days I find I can’t even watch a whole episode of a show at a time – I’ll often spread the one episode out over a couple times in the week, or even across weeks. That way I can spend time with Midge Maisel and Jonathan Van Ness and Mr. Kim and Emily Cooper for a much longer stretch of my life than I would have otherwise. In between, I can anticipate.
I think anticipation is one of the most underrated emotions, but more on that coming soon about that with my ode to the long distance relationship. Stay tuned!
Back to savor-watching. I think it’s part of an obsession I’ve been having with the idea of savoring as a key component of a joyful life. Research in the field of positive psychology has seen an uptick in scientific interest in the effects of efforts to increase people’s savoring in various aspects of their lives.
Proponents of positive psychology recognize that while it is really important to help people cope with negative experiences and states, that is just one side of the coin. It is also vital help people who are doing just fine go from fine to thriving and flourishing. This is definitely on brand with Demand the Shimmer. One of the researchers lighting the path toward more scientific work on savoring is Dr. Fred Bryant from Loyola University in Chicago. He and his colleagues recognized that just as people can learn to proactively cope with negative stuff, they should also be able to proactively increase their joy in reaction to positive stuff. Savoring is the practice of doing just that, and it can involve the whole process of anticipating something awesome, mindfully experiencing the moment of awesomeness, and actively practicing reminiscing about the awesomeness.
Some other savoring practices I’ve been trying to put into place this summer include:
- Taking the last meal of a vacation or the last leg of a road trip to review the whole thing event-by-event with whomever I am with to relive all the fun memories again. Typically, different people will have had different little memories stick, so sharing expands everyone’s experience. And, If I do a daytrip alone, I’ll actually talk the details out loud or write them down so I can relive them before the memories fade.
- If I see something beautiful or funny or interesting, like most of us I am quick to snap a photo, but I try to stop and really look carefully and savor the moment rather than count on a pic I may never return to.
- This one might sound a bit weird, but when I have a feeling of joy or happiness come over me, I try to stop and say (out loud, even if I’m alone) “I am so happy.” Noting happiness and sitting with it for a few extra beats helps to expand it.
- Keeping a one-line-a-day journal where the one line or phrase is the most fun moment of the day. Even a crappy day often has at least a moment of humor, connection, or beauty.
Although savor-watching and some of these other savoring practices come pretty naturally to me, I really struggle with the type of savoring people typically think of first – eating slowly and savoring food. I am and have always been a fast eater, as much as I try to slow down. In fact, I’m writing this at a coffee shop and I just got to the last bite of a delicious pan au chocolate before realizing I had finished it mindlessly. I am going to double down the efforts on this; I know it will be worth it.
What will you try to savor?
Cheers,
Lisa