Happy birthday to me (a bit belated) – I turned 50 this year! Clearly a milestone birthday, 50 can represent to many things to different people. For some, sadly, it seems like an ending of youth and the death of some essential part of vitality. For others, me included thank goodness, it marks a sense of achievement and the passage to a really exciting time of life.
Walking through the archway of 50, it was almost like there was a life concierge standing there saying “here, let me take that baggage from you, Madame” – and the baggage was all the stupid, bullshit worry about really dumb stuff that I’ve been hauling around for decades. Am I skinny enough? Am I still pretty? Am I smart enough to speak up? Do I know what I’m talking about? Does anyone care what I have to say?
Who. Cares.
OMG, let me tell you, having those bags removed from your shoulders makes you feel like you can fly. Admittedly, those worries aren’t 100% gone – but it’s like the giant suitcases (without wheels!) have now become small clutch bags, or perhaps a cosmetics case.
Just like I did on my 39th birthday, on my 49th I spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking about how I wanted to spend my time in my last year of my 40s. I came up with the Big Ten list, articulated in my journal as I sat near the ocean on a trip to Hawaii. The Big Ten list was a list of ten things I wanted to do before my 50th birthday.
The rule of the Big Ten is that it cannot be things you think you are “supposed” to do, but don’t really want to. This is no “lose 10 lbs.” or “go to the gym more” list. It has to come from the heart, with a combination of big and small achievements or experiences that you think will bring you joy.
Curious? Here’s what I came up with this time:
- Create signature dishes, in all categories (side dish, main dish, desert, etc.)
- Hold a plank every morning of the year.
- Learn to do a pull-up.
- Become a liquid eyeliner master.
- Design and sew a dress.
- Join a group.
- Learn 5 songs on the drums.
- Go on a solo trip.
- Take a one-second video every day
- Start a side-hustle
Did I complete the Big Ten? Not entirely, but I did most of them, and came really close on the others (still striving). I had so much fun with this – I had a Big Ten journal that I tracked progress in, and on my weekly to-dos I always had Big Ten striving activities.
Some of my favorites from my Big Ten before I turned 40 included learning to open a champagne bottle without making a terrified face and learning to juggle.
I encourage all of you to think about this the year before a milestone birthday; it gives the build up to the birthday a special sense of purpose and excitement. It’s part of the repertoire of the Demand the Shimmer life.
Cheers,
Lisa