The Joy Review
January 15, 2024
Happy new year! For someone like me who is obsessed with rituals and practices to help bring more joy to everyday life, the new year is one of my favorite times on the calendar. Some people scoff at new year’s resolutions and all that fresh-start stuff. If you are one of those people, that’s cool, but hear me out on this one ritual that I think might be worth your time. I used to just call it the yearly review ritual but I think it’s time to rebrand it as The Joy Review.
When you take time to just think about the past year as you’re stuck in traffic or doing the dishes, you likely hit the highs and lows – the major events that really planted themselves in your memory. It’s human nature to notice the negative. This ritual is not going to solve big problems or heal real wounds, but it is a practice to help remind us of some of the small, everyday moments of joy that happened this year and give you the chance to savor them again
I should warn you that to do this thoroughly you’re going to need to set aside several hours, but it is also something that can be done a bit at a time, perhaps reviewing a month a night or even a week. I do this as a regular ritual during December 31 and January 1. There really is nothing magical about those days, so if this appeals to you, don’t wait until next year – give it a try now.
I think everyone’s tools for this ritual will differ. For me, it’s a journal, my photos on my phone, my Facebook timeline, the one second every day app[1], my weekly journal, and my one-line-a-day journal. Starting with January, I find all my photos from January, the one second a day video I made for January, and I go easily back to my Facebook posts by going to my page and hitting the Filter button and selecting January of last year. I flip through all of these resources and take some bullet point notes from some of the everyday things that happened. I am continually astounded by:
- How many fun and funny moments that I completely forgot about that instantly bring me joy to experience again.
- How much I was sure at the time of those moments I’d always remember them, but if I hadn’t done this exercise, I would have forgotten them.
- How many worries (typically issues at work and things that were giving my self-esteem a hit) I had completely forgotten all about.
That last one was a big eye-opener for me. I can get really caught up in my head about performance anxiety or rejection, and in the moment it seems like such a monster, but so many of these I end up completely forgetting about. You might think reliving them brings back the anxiety, but I found that it actually brings joy to know that those types of worries really are fleeting.
A lot of the joy of even the bigger moments are in the details. For example, I had the great privilege to go to Paris last year. Of course I remembered Paris and I could tick off the memories at the big event level (the boat ride by the Eiffel tower right as the twinkle lights came on, the trip to Giverny and Versailles), but I hadn’t been remembering the first fun startle when the whole boat whooped with glee when the boat passed under the first bridge and how the people on the banks of the Seine, drinking wine and picnicking, would wave. Or, the exact vivid shade of pink I captured in a perfect flower in Monet’s garden. This ritual brings an echo of that tangible joy right back.
If my partner is with me during this exercise, he kindly allows me to review each month with him as I go and he ends up also delighted by all the things he’d forgotten. It also helps to talk out loud about these little memories to increase the intensity of the detail. When he hasn’t been around, I send him the recap in emails. I can see two friends getting together to do this together and exchanging favorite moments. And if you come across a fun pic of or with a friend that you think they may have forgotten about, text it to them and spread the joy.
If you try this for the first time and find you don’t have a record of the little moments, maybe that’s a sign to try to start a practice this year where you will have some good reminders next time around. Tools like one second a day allow you to take a quick video of something – anything – happening in your life each day so you can step away from the camera and be in the moment. Similarly, for people who find the idea of journaling intimidating or boring, a one-line-a-day journal allows you to record just one good thing from the day and takes only a minute. Both of these are easy practices to start and will give you a lot of smiles later for a tiny time investment.
One of my favorite memories from this year was a picture I took in the coffee shop of my computer as I was finishing the blog post I wrote to release Demand the Shimmer into the world more broadly. I look at it and feel those butterflies again in my stomach, but remember that determination was winning the battle against doubt and it was sitting at that table at that moment drinking that latte that I knew I’d start sharing. Joy review indeed.
[1] Check out 1SE – 1 Second Everyday Diary – where you get your apps.